Perfect Strength

*********Important Announcement: Due to my work schedule and an upcoming deployment, I have made the difficult decision to stop posting this blog. My Easter post for this year will, unfortunately, be my final post. I appreciate all of your kind words, support, and faithfulness in reading every week; I’m humbled and grateful that you were touched by the posts here. Regrettably, I won’t have the time or internet reliability to continue posting. I hope you enjoy my last few posts. *********

Perfect Strength

In the midst of the gym closures for COVID, I invested in a squat rack and weight set for my rental house. I hadn’t lifted in awhile, and I started off pretty light, but soon enough I was lifting heavier than I ever had. A couple of years ago, it was all I could to do stand up holding 200 lbs; now it’s my warmup set. It always feels amazing finishing a heavy set – but it always seems like there’s a heavier one coming.

Burnout?

That’s what my workweeks have been like lately as well. About a month ago, I told my parents I was proud of just having finished a 215-lb week. Little did I know, that was only the warmup set. Last week I worked over 80 hours, and it seemed like I spent every last one of them running after one crisis or another. All I wanted to do was finish the day, but when I got home, I was so tired I didn’t even feel happy to be there. I ate, fell in bed, got up, and did the whole thing all over again. Maybe you can relate.

Friday of last week, I was walking home, doing my best not to burst into tears. I just felt so used-up, like I’d spent all of the last weekend trying to restock some energy only to have it crushed out of me by Monday night. And I was coming in on Saturday for another long workday. I don’t know how much more of this I can take, I thought, the word burnout running through my mind. I don’t have an inexhaustible supply of energy or strength.

The Reply

And then the reply came. No. But I do. My grace is sufficient for you; my power is made perfect in weakness. Give thanks to the Lord, and do not forget all his benefits, who renews your strength like the eagle’s. Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up on wings like eagles; they shall run and not grow weary; they shall walk and not faint.

I am the source of all life, all strength, all goodness, came the voice, quiet but firm, and I’m not done with you yet. Chin up. You’re going to be just fine.

Another Lesson

The next morning, I learned the same thing a different way. Every morning, I wake up and wonder if I should actually get up and lift. After all, I’m pretty tired these days, and sleep is important, too. But if I don’t lift, I’ll feel frustrated with myself all day. So I get up, walk down the hall, and start loading the plates on the bar.

That morning, the first lift felt incredibly difficult, nearly impossible to pick up and put down properly. I stopped and wondered if I shouldn’t just do cardio instead; maybe it just wasn’t my day. But again, because I would have been frustrated with myself all day, I went back to the bar, braced myself better, took a breath, clenched my abs, and stood up. And this time, I did seven touch-and-go reps of the same weight without a problem. And then another full set of eight. It felt amazing.

Building Strength

I realized then what I take for granted during lifting – that continually placing more strain on my body, when done the right way, doesn’t make me weaker; it makes me stronger.* If I stayed in bed every day and never lifted, then I would get weaker – not from the work, but from the lack of work. I would have less energy, not more, because I wouldn’t be in as good of shape. Strength, like love and faith and many other virtues, is a paradox – the more you use, the more you have. The less you use, the less you have. You can’t hold on to it; you only have it if you use it. One might say you can only find it when you lose it.

That’s how I felt walking home last night, after the reply to my doubts. I felt better. I didn’t feel like crying anymore. I was still tired, but in the midst of that, I suddenly discovered a strength inside of me – a strength I could never have found if I hadn’t needed it, if it had never been tested.

*There’s an important caveat here: you have to respect the weight. If you lift heavy without respecting the iron, you can get seriously hurt. It’s lifting with the right form that builds strength, not just having pressure put on you. The same is true of mental, emotional, and spiritual strength. Working 80 hours a week indefinitely is not a great plan. Self-care is important; you can’t lift physical while starving, and you can’t lift mental and emotional burdens without a support system to feed your spirit. Take time to relax and recharge – recovery time is important!